Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
