shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
