ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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