When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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