I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
