I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
