so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
