I don't think brook has ever known best
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
