I think i peed on brittanys purse
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
