I can tuck mytits in my pants
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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