No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
