Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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