I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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