Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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