I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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