So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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