Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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