i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
