i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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