yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
