Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
