I heard we made out
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Randomize
