I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize