you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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