take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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