these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
