Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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