Plan B is the new Plan A
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
