That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Drake has all the answers
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
