can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize