The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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