Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
