also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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