Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize