i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
