Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize