btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
