hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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