Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
