the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
