I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
