and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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