mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You did what with his pubic hair?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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