i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
