I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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