We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
