I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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