We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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