I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
