I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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