I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
