I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
my poor anus
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
