i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
