Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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