You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
