I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
