in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
