North Korea, Best Korea!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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