K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize