C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You ate ashes out of my bong
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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