I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
