I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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